About

We aim to provide the best quality product at the lowest price possible. That does NOT mean we look for the cheapest stuff, it means we look for the best value so the customer gets the best bang for their buck. I search high and low for deals and handpick everything on the menu. I believe everyone should be able to obtain high quality medicine no matter their budget.

Customer satisfaction is our number one priority. At the end of the day what drives us is all the customers that we can bring some joy to and who appreciate what we do. We offer an exchange policy and will do anything in our power to make sure you have a good experience. Please if you ever have any problems don't hesitate to message me and if you want to talk to me directly if one of my managers is the one who answered just let them know and I will always hop in.

Lastly another focus of ours is reducing our carbon footprint. We primarily use biodegradable vacuum seal wrap and offer a recycling program. Turn in 6 jars and get a free gram of diamonds and sauce or fresh frozen concentrates. We believe every little bit counts. Not to get off topic and preachy but since the Industrial Age we have done a terrible job at taking care of our planet and I believe if every person does their part we can still salvage this for our future generations.

Return 6 glass flower or concentrate jars you received from us and receive a free gift. All reused glass jars will be thoroughly soaked in rubbing alcohol and dried before reuse. You can return them in increments (4 one day and 2 another), I will keep track in a list I have.

GIFT CHOICES:
- 1g Fresh Frozen Badder, Sugar, or Diamonds/Sauce
- 2g Any Flower 200/oz or Below
- 1.3g Any Flower 210/oz or Above

Unlike almost every other gifting service or dispensary, we offer a satisfaction guarantee exchange policy! We try to describe everything as perfectly and accurately as possible and we want everyone to get exactly what they were expecting and be satisfied with their purchase. For this reason we do allow exchanges if there is something that just was not what you were expecting or don't like at all for whatever reason. Exchanges do not count towards the minimum, and will be done as a separate transaction when the next order is placed. This is only because it takes time, money, and resources to complete any delivery. However, if there is a mistake with your order that we made, or something that is our fault for any reason, you are our highest priority and we will fix whatever was wrong with your gift immediately with no second order necessary. The only limitation due to us not being able to re-gift it, is we cannot exchange diamonds and sauce that have been custom made and mixed (if they are separated still that is fine). We also will not exchange anything that is in different condition than it was gifted in. One final change I have made to the exchange policy this year: if it has been over 10 days since your order and you have not mentioned anything, it has been too long to exchange. You need to tell us immediately if there is something wrong or that you feel is no good for you and must be exchanged, any requests for exchanges on orders 10 days or older are going to be at our discretion. If you have any actual reason that makes sense, we may still accept the exchange request (though keep in mind, it is unlikely in this scenario).

Please feel free to DM us with any special inquiries, special order requests, special time requests, or questions! We are very flexible with a lot of our different policies and love working with our clients.

VETERAN'S DISCOUNT - 5% Off - Submit any documentation that shows you are a veteran and get 5% off all orders in perpetuity.

We appreciate all of you so much! Our business lives mostly off of word of mouth and referrals. This policy was harder to adopt in our early days, but going forward (April 2023 and on) we will be offering $30 $50 [SEP 2025 UPDATE] gifting credit to anyone who refers someone to us who places an order. After confirmation that they were referred by you and their first order has been placed you will receive $50 gifting credit! It means so much to us when our clients refer their friends and family, this is the least we can do. Thank you everyone for your support it means more than you know, we couldn't do this without you! Everyone who has referred people up until this point, you are the reason that we are here today!

Does SHMU THE CANNAPROPHET sell marijuana?
No, we sell limited edition art and alternative medicine consultations, we do not sell marijuana. We offer optional cannabis gifts to customers 21+ in Washington DC in compliance with Initiative 71.

Do you deliver to Maryland or Virginia (or any other state)?
Our art and consultation services are available for purchase anywhere in the United States, however, any purchase made outside of Washington DC is not eligible to receive a free cannabis gift.

Is this legal?
Yes, Initiative 71 allows us to gift up to 2 ounces of cannabis to anyone 21+ within Washington, DC.